December 7, 2025, 12:27 am | Read time: 8 minutes

Returning to the Gym After 10 Years

Let’s be honest: In the last ten years, I’ve somewhat neglected my body. While I enthusiastically and probably more than average go hiking, I’m also a fan of the good life, which for me means eating well and a lot. When I eventually had to admit that I wouldn’t stay as fit as I was, especially in my youth, I made a rather unexpected decision for myself: After more than a decade of abstinence, I rejoined a gym.

In earlier times, and this is not an advertisement, I trained at Kieser. Not necessarily to build muscles, but simply to stay healthy and strengthen my back. A no-frills studio, about 30 minutes of program, ideally several times a week, was enough for me to stay relatively fit. The image of the classic gym, where grunting alpha males lift weights that are too heavy, was already repugnant to me back then. I wanted to love my own body as much as possible, rather than torture it.

First Warning Signs in My Early 40s

And exactly this body is now giving me signals in my early 40s that I unfortunately can no longer ignore. Above all, I weigh significantly more today than I did back then, despite the fact that I haven’t drunk alcohol for more than five years. It was mainly dissatisfaction when looking in the mirror that made rejoining a gym seem like a good idea. Spoiler: It was. But compared to my rather carefree and inattentive training time back then, I now pay closer attention, if only out of journalistic professional honor. And for several months now, I’ve been experiencing not only an astonishingly rapid physical transformation but also some very peculiar things.

Of course, I don’t know if the gyms have really changed, or if I’m just a different person today. The chain I chose has numerous, partly hypermodern branches in my hometown. In the magazine “Test Bild” ratings, it ranked first among the best gyms in Berlin for five consecutive years (though not in the past two years). If you go to one of these outlets on a normal weekday around 6 p.m., you inevitably get the feeling that all the residents of the metropolis are there at the same time as you. Finding the desired training equipment free at this time is then sometimes more a matter of luck. And that’s due to a circumstance I definitely didn’t know until now.

Excessive Smartphone Use Blocks Training

Because almost everyone in the studio seems to need their smartphone more than the numerous devices to train. I often see someone occupying a station for an excessively long time because they think they deserve an extensive round of social media after each set. I’ve also seen people just sit on machines, turn on their phones, and not train at all. There’s no limit to creativity in this ritual. Some prefer to chat, while others watch entire movies or talk to their loved ones, of course without headphones and on speaker. Everyone should know they’re really pumping.

This routine is especially popular when the studio is particularly crowded. It annoyed me so much after a short time that I openly addressed the trainers, asking them to proactively prevent such behavior in the future. Unfortunately, they said they couldn’t do that. They were aware of the problem in theory, but they couldn’t just spoil people’s fun. That these people ruin others’ enjoyment of training? Helpless shrug. Especially since all the staff in the studio are so young they could be my children. Accordingly, they find it difficult to project the necessary authority to consistently prevent such disturbances. And so they prefer to stand out through another peculiarity.

Course Promotion à la Door-to-Door Sales

Because my studio regularly offers courses that are sometimes highly sought after, and waiting lines can form. Yet I repeatedly observe instructors asking everyone if they want to participate in this or that group training. They often ask multiple times. It reminds me of door-to-door sales. When I wanted to know if there were internal guidelines or a commission for the measure, they evaded my question.

But never mind, I’m very satisfied with the studio itself. There are now many different modern machines for every type. At one station, you can refill your water bottle for free at any time. On the screens of the cross-steppers, where I burn off calories after muscle training, I can also watch videos of great hiking regions. And despite those who seem to consider the machines their private property, you can almost always find a free machine that fits the current plan.

Also interesting: What 14 Days of Sauna Did to My Body

Observations on the Quirky Regulars

After just a few visits, I recognized other guests who regularly come to train. I’ve given some of them nicknames in my mind. There’s the “Sports Professor,” who lectured me during one of my first visits that I was training completely wrong. Success, he explained, could only come if I followed his advice. Then there’s the “Aging Beauty”: a woman of undeniable grace who must ensure that every guest notices her entrance. There’s also the “Tenant”: a guy who seems to live at the gym. I think he’s only been absent once during one of my visits.

Then there are the “Fashionistas” of both genders, whom you can’t tell if they actually want to be on a runway with their chic clothes. Unsurprisingly, they chat more than they train, as their outfit might otherwise suffer. Next to the area with the “normal” machines, there’s also a kind of separate area, which I’ve internally dubbed the “Baboon Enclosure.” It’s a fully mirrored room with free weights, where exactly those grunting bodybuilders I respectfully mentioned earlier train. The candidates could easily participate in competitions–and they want everyone else to know it too.

Motivational phrases like “Come on, it has to hurt” and similarly insightful bon mots are the norm here. Just like the fact of loading at least 20 kilograms more weight onto the bar than one can easily lift or press. Everyone should know that a beautiful body is not about fun, but mainly about suffering. And of course, you can take great photos in front of all the big mirrors when you need a break. Important basic rule here: Show as much of your own, muscle-packed skin as possible. And, of course, suffer as noisily as possible.

More on the topic

My First Time Trying Thai Boxing in My 40s “I lifted weights for 20 years—if only I had done Muay Thai.”

Opinion I have mixed feelings about women’s sections in the gym.

Greeting Rituals in the Sauna Break Every Chance for Peace

What I really like about my studio is that it has a sauna. Especially in the cold season, it’s very pleasant to relax in the dry heat after training. Or at least try to relax, because of course, the quirks of my fellow humans don’t stop here. The fact that statistically, the sauna door opens or closes about every three seconds because someone is coming or going wouldn’t be so bad by itself. What really irritates me is that newcomers and those leaving usually greet loudly before entering or leaving the sauna. And then about half of those present feel compelled or obliged to return the greeting. That means: every three seconds a loud “Hello,” “Good evening,” or even “Enjoy your meal,” followed by a multi-voiced echo. Or “Goodbye,” “Ciao,” or “Have a nice evening, guys,” also answered in unison.

Now, dear reader, this may seem like a form of politeness to you. But just imagine for a moment that all passengers on your morning subway ride did the same. The sauna is supposed to be a place of peace and contemplation. Many, especially younger guests, see no problem in starting private conversations in the crowded sweatbox. At least, they are usually quickly reprimanded. It gets really disgusting, though, when sweaty men start wiping the inevitable sweat off their bodies with their hands. It sounds like squeezing a wet, human sponge.

I had to chuckle when I recently discovered a sign in the showers indicating that removing or dyeing body hair there is prohibited. So far, so understandable. But conversely, that means to me: In the past, there must have been people who thought that was a really good idea…

I Also Have My Little Quirk at the Gym

I still go to the gym very gladly and (for now) regularly, partly because of these little anecdotes. And yes, I also have my little quirk. I always take the locker with the number 007 because, for some reason, it’s always available. This might not automatically make me as attractive as a certain secret agent. But I’m working on it.