September 1, 2026, 6:13 pm | Read time: 8 minutes
Although sex has no expiration date, there are surprisingly many prejudices about sexuality in old age: Men supposedly can’t get erections anymore, women lose interest after menopause, and older people only engage in hand-holding and cuddling. Some of these assumptions have a grain of truth, while others are simply false.
“In fact, sexuality changes over the course of life. Hormones, illnesses, medications, stress, and one’s life situation can influence how desire and arousal are experienced. At the same time, some older couples report greater sexual satisfaction than in their younger years,” says Dr. Heidi Gößlinghoff, a gynecologist, reproductive medicine specialist, and psychotherapist focusing on fertility and hormonal women’s health. “More time and better knowledge of one’s own needs can even be advantages.”
1. Myth: Men can’t get erections anymore as they age
As men age, erections may take longer to occur and may be less firm. Erectile problems also become more common, with stress, fatigue, illnesses, or certain medications playing a role. However, automatic impotence is not a given.
Regular erectile problems should always be medically evaluated. Exercise, a healthy lifestyle, and treating underlying conditions can help. For persistent issues, there are also various medical treatment options available.
Also of interest: Viagra not only positively affects erections
2. Myth: After menopause, the vagina becomes dry and sex is painful
Due to declining estrogen levels, the vaginal lining can become thinner, drier, and less elastic. Natural moisture may also decrease for some women. Penetrative sex can become uncomfortable or painful as a result. “Dryness and pain don’t have to become the new normal. Pain during sex is not a price one has to pay for aging,” emphasizes Dr. Gößlinghoff. “Lubricants can make sex more comfortable in the short term, and regular vaginal moisturizers can also help. For more severe symptoms, a local estrogen treatment may be considered after medical consultation.”
Also of interest: Medications that can cause vaginal dryness
3. Myth: As you age, you automatically lose interest in sex
“Sexual desire doesn’t just disappear with age. Libido can change, increase, or decrease. Some people continue to have intercourse, others masturbate, enjoy touch, or express their sexuality in entirely different ways. And some don’t want sex at all. That’s normal too,” says Dr. Gößlinghoff.
How much desire we feel is not solely dependent on age. Sleep, stress, mental health, relationships, medications, and physical issues can influence libido. Therefore, the benchmark should not be age, but one’s own needs. If desire suddenly decreases significantly and becomes burdensome, medical evaluation may be advisable.
4. Myth: You can’t have orgasms anymore as you age
The sexual response can change. Arousal may occur more slowly, and an orgasm may feel different or less intense. However, the ability to orgasm doesn’t automatically disappear with age. More time and less performance pressure can help. The body may need a different form of stimulation than before. What’s important is not how quickly sex worked in the past, but what feels good today.
Also of interest: How sex, masturbation, and orgasm affect sleep
5. Myth: Sex becomes so slow with age that spontaneity is no longer possible
Physical reactions can indeed take more time. It may take longer for men to achieve an erection and for women to achieve sufficient lubrication. But that doesn’t have to make sex worse. On the contrary, taking more time for touch and arousal and removing the pressure to quickly engage in intercourse can make sex even more intense. Even for spontaneous sex, a slightly longer foreplay can simply be part of the experience.
6. Myth: Sex is dangerous for the heart as you age
Sex temporarily increases heart rate and blood pressure. However, age alone does not make sexual activity dangerous. For those with known cardiovascular diseases, the individual situation should be discussed with the treating physician. If chest pain, severe shortness of breath, dizziness, or other unusual symptoms occur during sex, one should stop and seek medical help immediately.
7. Myth: Every man develops prostate issues and automatically has sexual problems as he ages
Prostate issues do become more common with age, but not every man experiences problems. Even an enlarged prostate doesn’t automatically mean the end of one’s sex life. However, prostate diseases and certain surgeries and treatments can affect sexual function. Urination problems, pain, or changes in sexual function should be medically evaluated. Sexual side effects after prostate treatment should also be openly discussed.
Also of interest: How to keep your prostate healthy! 8 effective tips
8. Myth: Men remain fully fertile into old age
Men do not experience menopause and generally continue to produce sperm even in old age. However, fertility does not remain unchanged. As men age, sperm quality and fertility can change, among other things.
“It’s also important to distinguish between potency and fertility: A man can have sexual desire and erections and still have reduced fertility. For those wishing to have children at an older age, an examination may be advisable. And as long as pregnancy is possible, contraception should still be used,” advises Dr. Gößlinghoff.
9. Myth: After menopause, contraception is no longer needed
Not every woman who no longer has a regular period is already in menopause. During perimenopause, the transitional phase, ovulation can still occur, as menopause is only considered reached after twelve months without menstruation. Those who do not wish to become pregnant should therefore use contraception during the transition phase and consult a doctor to determine when it can be discontinued. Condoms not only prevent unwanted pregnancy but also protect against sexually transmitted infections.
10. Myth: Older women automatically have an unpleasant odor in the intimate area
After menopause, the tissue and vaginal environment change due to declining estrogen levels. This can also change the natural odor. However, this has nothing to do with poor hygiene. Aggressive intimate wash lotions, perfumed products, or vaginal douches are not solutions. They can even further disrupt the sensitive environment. A sudden strong or unpleasant odor, discharge, itching, burning, or pain should be evaluated by a gynecologist.
11. Myth: Desire for sex after menopause means a woman has too much testosterone
Sexual desire cannot be reduced to a single hormone. Around menopause, libido can develop in very different directions. Some women have less desire, for others, little changes, and some experience their sexuality even more freely. “Not every sexual desire needs a medical explanation,” says Dr. Gößlinghoff. “If sexuality feels good, there’s no reason to problematize it. However, if libido decreases significantly and is perceived as burdensome, physical, psychological, and relationship factors can be considered together.”
12. Myth: Sexual preferences automatically change with age
Aging does not automatically lead to changes in sexual preferences. What can change are needs, priorities, or the way sexuality is expressed. A new life situation, a breakup, or a new partnership can, for example, lead people to rediscover or express their sexuality differently. But it doesn’t have to change. What’s important is to remain open to one’s own needs rather than adhering to age-related stereotypes.
13. Myth: Frequent masturbation in old age indicates a problem
Masturbation has no age limit. It can be a completely normal form of sexual activity and help in getting to know one’s body and changing needs. This applies regardless of whether someone is in a relationship. Masturbation becomes problematic not because of age, but only if it is experienced as burdensome or significantly impacts other areas of life.
14. Myth: Older people can’t contract sexually transmitted infections anymore
Age does not protect against sexually transmitted infections such as gonorrhea, chlamydia, or HIV. Especially with a new partner, the topic can become relevant again. Condoms can best reduce the risk of infection. Depending on the situation, STI tests (tests for sexually transmitted infections) may also be advisable.
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Intimacy in Old Age: How Sex Changes After 60
15. Myth: Sex keeps you young
There is no medical evidence that regular sex biologically rejuvenates the body. However, a fulfilling sexuality can contribute to well-being, closeness, and quality of life. Some couples experience more calm, time, and intimacy, especially in older age, and find it enriching.
Conclusion: Sex has no expiration date
“Aging changes the body. Erections may be different, the vagina may become drier, and hormones, illnesses, or medications can influence sexuality. But that doesn’t mean sex automatically becomes less enjoyable, less pleasurable, or eventually impossible. The body may need more time at 60 than at 25. More lubricant might be necessary, a different position more comfortable, or communication with the partner more important. Perhaps one’s own idea of what good sex means simply changes. Embrace the changes,” advises Dr. Gößlinghoff.