September 2, 2025, 10:21 am | Read time: 4 minutes
Yes, women eventually go through menopause. But why on earth is that a reason for some to pour scorn on them–and by extension, other women? Anyone who feels this need should urgently ask themselves what their own problem really is.
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“Looks like menopause is hitting hard”
Heidi Klum recently walked the red carpet at the Venice Film Festival in a dress by lingerie brand Intimissimi. Mission accomplished, everything as usual: She wears what the brand wants to showcase. A model doing her job, end of story–or so it should be. But as I read through some comment sections on Instagram posts about this appearance last night, I got angry. I read that Heidi Klum is “well-fed” right now. Further: The dress is “nice,” but “not on her body,” and she “should have given it to her daughter.” And also regarding her body: “Looks like menopause is hitting hard.”
Such comments feed women’s fears
It’s clear: Some people who make such spiteful remarks probably aim to hurt Heidi Klum as much as possible–for whatever reason. I was never a fan of hers either; Klum’s often condescending and ruthless manner toward young women always made me uncomfortable during all those “Germany’s Next Topmodel” years. So it’s not that I want to protect Heidi Klum. The problem I have with the spiteful comments under the widely viewed Venice photos is that they affect women who are afraid of menopause or feel uncertain about it. And I am one of them.
I have ten years left until the dictate of shame takes hold
Because I don’t need to read much between the lines to understand the message of such and other derogatory words: With menopause, the time of admiration is over. Women should “no longer” show themselves in public like that. The body, the dress, the age, the hormone status–something or all of it is apparently no longer presentable to some people. At the very latest, we women are supposed to disappear into the pit of shame when menopause “visibly hits”–whatever that means.
Women who do not follow this dictate of shame are devalued. Heidi Klum is 52, I am 42–so I have a maximum of ten years left to disappear.
Also interesting: How women can recognize that their menopause has begun
Menopause is not a curse word!
Yes, women eventually go through menopause. But hadn’t we recently agreed not to interpret hormonal changes as the end of womanhood, but rather to see them as an opportunity for reorientation and self-discovery? Popular books like “Woman on Fire” or “Perimenopause Power,” podcasts, and articles are finally breaking the silence about hot flashes, insomnia, and hormone fluctuations, and somehow taking away the fear of menopause for me and many other women on the threshold of it. They say: With menopause begins one of the strongest phases in life. I would rather believe this narrative than the old dictate of shame. Stop it! Menopause is not a curse word.
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Maybe question your own problem
Those who comment like this are not only affronting Klum but every woman just before, during, or after menopause. And that’s many, pretty much all over 40. And that includes me. What’s wrong with you?
The shame should not be felt by the women going through this phase. The shame should be felt by those who write these comments. These people also have mothers, friends, partners, sisters, or daughters who are in this sensitive phase or will be at some point. They should ask themselves: Would they say all these malicious things to their faces? Probably not.
Anyone who feels the need to speak poorly about others’ bodies, speculate spitefully about a hormone status, or deny someone the right to wear certain clothes should urgently ask themselves what exactly their own problem is.
The bitterest: Women against women
There was a time when tabloid media thrived on amplifying our insecurities as women. Headlines about “love handles” on celebrity so-and-so or being “too thin” generated clicks. The media have largely learned from this and no longer devalue as they used to–unfortunately, this mechanism runs rampant on social networks.
Women are often particularly cruel to each other. Women who tear down other women with the same ruthlessness they themselves have experienced. The cause for some may not be pure malice, but a reflection of their own wounds or a projection of frustration and their own fears–none of this makes it any better for me. Your comments are a betrayal of the solidarity we women should urgently express more strongly among ourselves.